Like anyone would be

I am flattered by your fascination with me

Like any hot-blooded woman

I have simply wanted an object to crave

But you, you're not allowed

You're uninvited

An unfortunate slight

Must be strangely exciting

To watch the stoic squirm

Must be somewhat hard telling

To watch them burn me shepherd

But you you're not allowed

You're uninvited

An unfortunate slight

Like any uncharted territory

I must seem greatly intriguing

You speak of my love like

You have experienced love like mine before

But this is not allowed

You're uninvited

An unfortunate slight

I don't think you unworthy

I need a moment to deliberate.

These are the thoughts

These are the thoughts

That go through my head

In my backyard on a Sunday afternoon

When I have the house to myself

And I'm not expending all that energy

On fighting with my boyfriend

Is he the one that I will marry?

Why is it so hard to be objective about myself?

Why do I feel cellularly alone?

Am I supposed to live in this crazy city?

Can blindly continued fear-induced

Regurgitated life-denying tradition be overcome?

Where does the money go that I send to those in need?

If we have so much why do some people have nothing still?

Why do I feel frantic when I first wake up in the morning?

Why do you say you are spiritual yet you treat people like shit?

How can you say you're close to god and yet you talk behind

My back as though I am not a part of you?

Why do I say I'm fine when it's obvious I'm not?

Why's it so hard to tell you what I want?

Why can't you just read my mind?

Why do I fear that the quieter I am the less you will listen?

Why do I care whether you like me or not?

Why is it so hard for me to be angry?

Why is it such work to stay conscious and

So easy to get stuck and not the other way around?

Will I ever move back to Canada?

Can I be with a lover with whom I am a student and a master?

Why am I encouraged to shut my mouth when it gets too close to home?

Why cannot I live in the moment?